party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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