the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
