Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
