i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize