OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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