I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
