Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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