now i know why i became what i already was.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
