I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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