Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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