I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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