marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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