...so i touched it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
