I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
