At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
