I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
