Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
