Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize