I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize