Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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