So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
