Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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