I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
