Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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