this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
