She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
