Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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