i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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