I am puke
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
