it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
