Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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