I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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