What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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