So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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