Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's blow job season.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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