Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
