I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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