what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
time to smoke my breakfast
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
