Plan B is the new Plan A
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
