Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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