Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
