i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
