I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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