It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
