dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just gargled with NyQuil
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
