We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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