she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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