CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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