Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
