did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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