Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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