At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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