I'm really into asian looking animals
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
farters have to be the big spoon...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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