sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
