i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
