He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize