umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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