This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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