I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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